Bedtime Stories
by Kettering
Summary: Aoshi makes some rather unfortunate marital faux pas...


For fun and entertainment! There's a racier version, you can e-mail me if you're interested. Title suggested by Western Ink, who put up with me whining about what it should be for like an hour.

I love an Aoshi that says the wrong thing.

* * *

Bedtime Stories

* * *

No one would have expected Aoshi to be a sheet-hog.

No, not at all, thought Misao as she glowered at her husband's back, shivering. No one would expect that dignified Aoshi Shinomori would have a penchant for stealing entire blankets from tiny women on bitterly cold nights.

And don't even mention trying to take them back. He'd hold onto them with a death grip, and with their considerable difference in weight, Misao had no hope of winning a game of tug-o-war, even if her opponent was unconscious.

Misao sat up, hugging herself tightly. When they'd gotten married, she had no idea how difficult it would be to share a bed with someone. She'd remembered the times when she'd slept with Aoshi as a child, his body shielding her from bad dreams and scary storms. But she was even smaller then, and he had been more careful with her. Now he seemed to feel that he could do whatever he wanted while she was in bed with him, whether it meant cuddling her close to his chest or -as he'd done now- rolling the other way and taking all the sheets with him.

Well it was winter, it was cold, she was in a sleeping yukata and enough was enough.

"Aoshi." she said softly, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Nnm."he offered helpfully, and she couldn't help but smile. He had always been attuned to her voice; no amount of time or distance could change that when Misao spoke in the night, Aoshi heard her.

"Aoshi, wake up."

"Nf."he grunted, and snuggled deeper into the pillow.

Okay, so he would always HEAR her, but whether he'd DO anything about it was a different matter.

"Aoshi, wake UP!" Misao shook his shoulder a little, and was rewarded with him raising his head and yawning.

"What?"his voice was thick with sleep.

"Give me back some of the blanket!" The little ninja reached down and tugged on it to emphasize her point, just in case he was too tired to process her words. "I'm freezing!"

Aoshi spent a moment doing absolutely nothing, and she was afraid he'd gone back to sleep, then he suddenly rolled back over, lying almost totally on top of her, blanket and all. Misao squeaked at the weight and tried to push him off, but he seemed to have gone right back to sleep and wouldn't budge.

It was real romantic to share a bed with Aoshi. Oh yeah.

Wiggling and pushing, she finally managed to free herself, and then settled against his chest with a sigh, tucking the blanket tightly around her back. Her cheek against his broad chest, she enclosed herself in his warmth, in the security of snuggling so closely with her husband. Maybe it wasn't always romantic, but it was definitely something she would never, ever trade for anything.

Especially not this chest.

It was too dark to see the ridges of scars revealed by the open front of his yukata, but she had memorized where they were and ran her index finger over them gently, smiling. Aoshi was sexy in general, but even moreso in sleep when his guard was down, when his bangs fell slanted over his eyes, when all the hardness and strain of the waking world was gone... when his lips were parted just so..

Looking at them made her want to kiss them, so she raised herself up and was about to press her mouth against his...

...when he rolled over. Away from her. Again.

Misao could have screamed.

He had to be doing this on purpose.

This time she didn't even give him a second before she started shaking him.

"Aoshi, dammit, wake up!"

He started slightly, and there was the sound of him swallowing as he dragged his hand across his face.

"Can't sleep?"he slurred tiredly. "Okay, fine, I'll tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a ninja princess and she was very pretty and-"

Misao stared at him. What the hell what he saying?

"..and she had a guardian who really wanted to go to sleep. The end."

Had he forgotten she wasn't four anymore! Was he THAT asleep that he couldn't even remember they were married?

"Now go get your doll and go to bed."

Her DOLL! That was it, she seethed.

"AOSHI!" she shouted, and kicked him in the back. Hard.

"WHAT!"he bolted upright, hand shooting out to the side to grab his kodachi, only to find that it wasn't there, instead he'd nearly smacked the angry woman scowling at him."Misao? What's the matter? You'll wake the whole house." He winced suddenly and rubbed his back. "Why did you kick me?"

She gestured with her head to where the covers were gathered tightly around his body and glowered.

"Oh. The covers." Aoshi shifted around and drew them loose, unfolding them and handing her a corner. "I'm sorry, why didn't you try to wake me before you kicked me?"

"I did." She snorted, snatching the blanket from him. "And you forgot we're married and told me to go sleep with my DOLL."

Aoshi blinked.

"Your doll?"

She nodded sharply.

"Oh."

A moment of silence stretched out between them, and Aoshi wasn't sure what he was supposed to say.

"Are you...angry that I thought you were a little girl again?"

"Maybe my DOLL and I should go find somewhere ELSE to sleep tonight!"

Aoshi rubbed his eyes with a thumb and middle finger. He definitely did not need this right now, but if he left it alone there would be more than hell to pay in the morning.

"Misao, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."he reached for her and she moved away slightly, still giving him a vicious look. He sighed raggedly and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him and then wrapping his own arm around her shoulders so she couldn't get away. He lifted her chin with the thumb of his free hand. "Look at me, Misao."

A moment's hesitation later, she finally slid her eyes to meet his.

"I don't think you are a little girl, Misao."

She nodded again, more slowly this time and opened her mouth to respond-

"But you're so small and sometimes when I'm tired and I realize someone else is in my bed I.."

He could tell by her frightening expression that that had been the absolute wrong thing to say. Mentally grimacing, he knew he wasn't going to get back to bed anytime soon unless he quickly diffused the situation.

So he kissed her.

Softly at first, and then with growing ardor, reaching around to cup the back of her head and tilt it so he could widen her mouth and attack her more deeply with his tongue. She was hesitant to respond at first, but soon had her hands fisted in the back of his yukata. Aoshi smiled internally; if there was one way to get back on Misao's good side, and get back quickly, it was to initiate lovemaking. She was easy to please, and it probably wouldn't take long. Hell, a good roll might even put her to sleep deeply enough that if he were to accidentally take the covers again-and he really didn't mean to do it as much as he did, but she was so little and easy to pull them away from- she might not notice.

He could feel his arousal hardening and was about to start undressing her when a hand on his chest suddenly pushed him back.

"Fat chance, Aoshi. Not this time!"

And before the man could blink, she yanked the covers from him, twisted them around herself in a tight cocoon and lay down on her side of the futon with a resolute "HMPH!"

...maybe Misao...wasn't...so easy to please.

Sighing, and dreading where this would lead in the morning, Aoshi lay down, looking at her back and wondering if he'd get kicked again if he reached for her.

Whatever.

If she wanted to be in an immature snit, she could be in an immature snit. It was her loss.

Although a few minutes later, when the shivering had started, Aoshi thought that perhaps it had been his loss after all, and got up to put on a housecoat, get some tea, and begin planning how to make it up the accidental insult to his wife.

* * *

"There's trouble in paradise."

Omasu looked up from the rice to see Okon leaning against the doorframe.

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

Okon gestured with her chin and the other woman turned around to see Misao sitting at the kitchen table, not so much eating her rice as attacking and devouring it like a rabid dog. She was radiating displeasure in palpable waves, and her braid seemed to frizzle and shake like a rattlesnake's warning.

Omasu nearly dropped the bowl she was holding at the sight.

"Misao-chan, what on earth happened!"

The response sounded something like "GRF," and Okon shook her head, smoothing her already perfect hair back against her skull.

"I think Aoshi has made his wife unhappy."

"UNHAPPY wouldn't EXACTLY be the word for it!"Misao slammed her chopsticks down causing Omasu to jump and actually drop the bowl this time, and Okon to poke herself in the eye.

"Good GOD, what the hell did he DO to you!" the latter screeched as she bent over, hand pressed to her face.

"Are you hurt?" The former fluttered to the table and grabbed for Misao's hand, ignoring the fact that she'd stepped on one of the shards of the bowl. "Should I get Okina?"

Horrified at what she'd done, Misao looked away and wiggled in her seat, drawing in on herself a little.

"He, um...stole the sheets and called me a little girl."

It became so quiet in the kitchen that sounds of traffic on the street and Okina singing in the bathhouse began to filter in.

"He...what?"

The little Okashira winced at Okon's tone.

"He was asleep and he called me a little girl then said..."she happened to glance up at that moment, and Omasu's face nearly made her jump out of her skin.

"OUT! OUT OUT OUT!"

Misao hustled out of the kitchen, followed by whatever the other two women could get their hands on. Rounding a corner quickly, she smacked straight into her husband, who of course didn't budge an inch.

"Ow.."Misao rubbed her nose, then glanced up and attempted to push past him, but he grabbed her arm.

"Misao, I-"

"I don't want to talk to you right now." The little ninja tried to pull her arm away. "You've put me in a bad enough mood as it is and now Okon and Omasu are mad, so I just want to-"

"I bought you something."

That got her attention immediately. He bought her something? What the hell? Her brow furrowed as she peered up at him. Aoshi had almost never, ever bought her anything. And today wasn't any kind of special occasion, so what could he possibly...

Oh.

OH!

A smug smile began to make its way across her face. He was trying to buy her favor back with a present. My my my, maybe she should get upset at him more often.

Sensing that she'd caught on, Aoshi untucked the brown-paper package from his arm and handed it to her wordlessly.

"Thank you, Aoshi."she tried to her pleasure behind her voice with a curt politeness. "May I open it now?"

He nodded briefly, and she bent down to kneel on the floor, carefully untying the string and slowly folding back the paper, her whole body practically jittering with excitement. It felt soft and padded, so she knew it was some kind of clothing, and she wondered what sort of beautiful kimono he might have seen and thought of her.

Maybe it was the blue one she'd pointed out the other day, the wonderful furisode with the perfect gradation and the white blossoms around the hem.

It had to be. It absolutely had to be. He knew how much she wanted it, and to remedy her anger he'd gotten it for her.

Grinning to herself, she pulled away the secondary layer of rice paper.

She was going to kiss him for this.

She was going to do more than kiss him.

She was going to...

She was going KILL HIM!

"What...is...this?"Her voice was stiff, her teeth clenched to try and keep her rage restrained.

Aoshi -who had been hiding a small, pleased smile behind his usual blase expression- immediately raised an eyebrow at the change in her voice and disposition.

"It's a housecoat."he said bluntly. "For when you get cold at night."

"I KNOW it's a housecoat!"

"Then why did you ask what-"

"I MEANT WHAT IS THIS!" Misao jumped to her feet, shoving the garment back at him with one hand and pointing to the design on it with the other.

"Is there something wrong with-"

"They're WEASELS!"

Taking a moment from his annoyance at having his sentences stepped on twice, Aoshi blinked and looked at it more closely. Amidst the bright pink flowers, prancing against the blue background, were a series of little weasels dressed as merchants and geishas.

"So they are."

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING! THIS IS A LITTLE KID'S COAT! DID YOU EVEN...DID YOU...AARGH!" Misao flung the offending coat at his face, and, furious when he caught it, proceeded to sock him in the stomach.

It wasn't a strong punch, but he hadn't been expecting it, and he tripped backwards a step, giving her time to turn and run, shrieking curses all the way. She was joined by other loud female voices as she went through the kitchen, and after a moment of crashing sounds, there was silence.

Well THAT had gone smashingly, Aoshi thought, rubbing his stomach. How was HE supposed to know it was a child's coat? It had been with the other women's clothes, and he...well he hadn't actually looked at it very closely, but it was brightly colored -and Misao liked bright colors- and it had been the smallest one they had...

...oh, right. That should have occurred to him. Dammit.

At the very least, she could have tried to appreciate that he'd actually gone to the trouble of trying to make her more comfortable. Honestly, she did act like a child sometimes with her tantrums and her stupid grudges. It wasn't as though he'd meant to upset her with anything he'd said or done in the past day.

Now in a foul mood of his own, he stalked toward the kitchen to make himself some tea, and had just stepped in the doorway when a cup of water came flying at his head. He ducked it easily, but when it shattered against the doorframe, it deposited its entire contents down his face.

"What the fuck is wrong with the two of you!"Okon screeched, holding a damp cloth to her eye.

"Neither of you is allowed in the kitchen for a WEEK!"Omasu snapped at him as she bandaged her bloody foot.

Before they could throw anything else or he was tempted to kill them with the stupid housecoat, Aoshi turned on his heel, stalked to his room and proceeded to meditate angrily for a very long time until he found the perfect solution for his wife's anger.

She'd get what was coming to her.

They both would.

* * *

By the time she arrived home, the encroaching darkness and chill had sapped Misao of most of her anger.

Well, the dark, cold, and the fact that she'd spent much of the day shouting at wildlife as she stomped around to get her rage out. Squirrels made surprisingly good avatars for yelling at, as well as decent kunai targets. But eventually, she'd calmed down, gone into town, gotten a bite to eat, and was now ready to face the walking faux pas of a man that was her husband.

If he was repentant enough, she decided, she might even consider sleeping with him tonight instead of telling him to go stay in Okina's room and listen to the old man snore.

Slipping her shoes off by the back entrance, she winced as her tabi-clad feet touched the cold floor, and quietly slipped past the kitchen -lest she face the wrath of Okon and Omasu- to the stairway leading up to the bedroom.

Misao had her foot was on the first step when she was suddenly grabbed around the waist and spun in a half-circle. Her mouth opened to shout out in surprise, but she was unable to make a sound before her head was tilted back by a large hand and her mouth was covered by a fierce kiss with urgent tongue.

This would have concerned her had she not immediately recognized the taste of the kiss: tea...a little bit of salt...and the flavor unique to Aoshi.

Aoshi.

Immediately aroused, but unwilling to cave in so easily, she rolled her eyes, put her hands on his chest and prepared to push back as she had the night before, but his other hand was suddenly tight around her wrist, and, releasing her mouth, he jerked her against him.

"Not this time." His voice was a hiss as he echoed her and she looked up in shock at his shadowed face.

"Aoshi, I-"

"You frustrate me, Misao." He was pulling her coat from her shoulders, dropping it on the floor. "You get upset when I forget you are a woman and throw tantrums like a child." Leaning forward, he sucked at her neck while he ripped through her obi and parted her thick winter kimono and under robe, hands quickly finding her breasts and-

"Aoshi, this isn't going to-"

"What?" He bent his head and bit at a nipple quickly, the flicked it with his tongue as he reached between her legs. "I try to kiss and make you happy, and you deny me. I buy you a present, and you throw it in my face."

The inside of her thighs were slick -how could she help but react to a scorching kiss and his eager touch?- and his fingers easily slid inside her, stroking her, pulling her closer by the hips. Misao inhaled sharply.

"The stupid coat was for...a little...a little..." Damn him for making it hard to think. If only Aoshi, sheet-thief and incompetent shopper extraordinaire wasn't so freakishly sexy and such an attentive lover. He knew every spot inside her that liked to be touched, and he was grazing all of them; her resistance was crumbling.

"I made a mistake. You may have noticed I tend to make those." She could hear rustling beneath his voice as he worked at the belt of his yukata. "I am sorry I bought you the wrong coat. I am sorry that I offended you. But instead of accepting my apologies, you have been irritatingly stubborn."

"Ha haAAA!" Misao tried to smile, but she was suddenly falling up the stairs -stupid jerk, his sex could even destroy physics!- pushed by his much larger body that was suddenly on top of her and mercilessly, wonderfully inside her, and then inside her again and again and again.

"You may not have granted me this last night, but if there is no other way to prove to you that I think of you as a woman, and my wife, then this is how it must be."

Misao looked up at him, flushed and excited, and started to say-

And then his hand covered her mouth, he pulled out of her, tossed her kimono across her chest, grabbed her coat up and darted up the stairs in a silent flash, just as Okon peered around the corner, ladle in hand.

When he finally set her down next to their futon, Misao found she could barely stand on her shaking legs. One look at Aoshi with his yukata wide open had her falling on her behind onto the sheets.

"Well?" he had the nerve to ask.

"Well what?" How could he just stand there like that!

"Am I forgiven?"

"You didn't let me get to enjoy it!" she pouted, looking away from his beautiful, defense-breaking body.

He raised an eyebrow.

"So 'no,' then."

"No." She stuck her tongue out at him and before she could blink, he had it trapped between his fore and middle fingers, leaning over her like a cat about to pounce on its frozen prey.

"Then I suppose I'll have to try again."

He pushed her onto her back, pushed her knees up to her shoulders and...

"How about now?" Through sweat-spiked bangs, Aoshi looked up at where his wife straddled him.

"Uh-uh." she grinned, shaking her head.

"What? Why not?" He raised himself up on his elbows, giving her as stern a look as he managed. "You said if I let you be on top, you would-"

"I had my fingers crossed." The little Okashira raised her right hand and showed him, restraining a triumphant if immature laugh.

Aoshi's expression was as close to a pout as she had ever seen him make, and then he grabbed her wrists, knotted her fingers with his, and rolled over.

And pinned quite happily beneath him, Misao's giggle bubbled out.

"Last time, Misao!"

"Okay, okay! I forgive you! I forgive you...I...Aoshi..."

Sometime much later, when the room had finally grown colder and they had exhausted each other, Misao snuggled up to her husband and stroked the scar she'd been looking at the night before.

"Since me being mad at you makes you so...eager for forgiveness, maybe I should do it all the time."

Aoshi, eyes closed, snorted into her hair and pulled her close with the arm around her waist.

"Don't even try it."

Content and warm, Misao lay her cheek against the broad -and right now slightly sticky- chest, and titled her eyes upward.

"You're going to behave this time, right?"

"Of course." he yawned. "Although I do have a theory as to why I said what I did last night."

"Oh?" her sudden displeasure was evident in her voice.

"Aa. When you were a child, you used to drool all over me in your sleep." Aoshi pulled back to look down at her, almost smiling. "And you still do." Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he yanked the sheets off her and rolled in the other direction.

And at least tonight, they both knew he deserved to be kicked in the back.

Several times.

* * *

End. 


End file.
